Today
we celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary.
It’d
be easy to write a mushy gushy love letter to you. But I’m not.
It’s not who I am and it’s definitely not what our marriage is.
Fourteen
years ago, I thought I struck gold when you told me you were single and ready
to mingle and wanted to know when I was going to go out with you.
Seriously. That’s what you said. Word-for-word. Our beginning wasn’t necessarily the most
romantic, but it’s our story, and it’s my favorite.
Fourteen
years ago, time stood still every time you looked at me. You treated me like my Dad always said I
deserved to be treated. You opened doors
for me, you made sure I was safe, and you took care of me. Whenever we were
together, it was like nothing else existed. The world stood still. I’ll never forget the day you first took my
hand in yours. I told myself I’d never
let go. And I haven’t.
I
was young … ohhh so young when we met. I
had a lot of growing up to do and you never once held me back. You let me grow. You let me listen to my shitty music, you put
up with my idiotic friends and roommates, and you dealt with my immature drama
that I created for myself. I’m not the
same person that I was fourteen years ago and you aren’t either. But we’ve grown together and accepted one
another along the way. We’ve had many years of growing up, but never once grew apart. I can't promise I won't listen to more shitty music. But I can promise to buy you earplugs.
As
life went on, we stumbled our way through it.
We were poor. SO very poor. We have been misunderstood and swept under
MANY of doormats. But we were
unbreakable and inseparable.
To
say we’ve been happy is an understatement, at best.
We’ve
had breakable moments. Unspeakable
moments. Moments that are so dark that
they’re MEANT to tear a couple apart. I
fought what I thought was a losing battle. And I’m sure you felt like you were
doing the same.
You
could have let go. But you didn’t.
Deep
down, beneath the fragility and the ambiguity, you loved me more than anything else
in the world. And I you.
Experience
has taught me that there will be more storms … more darkness … and more
arguments. We’ll get sick. We’ll have
more financial worries. We’ll have more flooded rooms. We’ll have other distractions.
We’ll worry about our boys and their children and their children. Death will
make an entrance. We’ll lose parents, family and posterity. As much as I hate to think about it, I really
hope that we leave this life relatively close to one another… but in all honesty, I hope that I go
first. As selfish as it sounds, I can’t stand the thought of being without
you. Yes, we’ve been through some
breakable things and we’ll go through some more breakable things. But experience has also taught me that
together, we make each other better. And we can weather these rough waters that
lie ahead. Just take my hand and trust me. And I promise that I'll give you the same trust.
I
don’t say this often enough, Cale… But I love being your wife. I’m proud to be your wife. You continue to selflessly love me year after
year. You’d do anything for me. You have supported me through dead-end jobs,
ever-changing degree changes, and silly shenanigans that nobody else would put
up with.
You’re
the “you can” when I want to give up.
You’re the “so quit” when I’m unhappy. You’re the “you will” when I can’t
see the light. You’re my rock. You have
supported my writing, my photography, my passions, and my ventures.
I
would not be here, continuing to chase dreams, if it weren’t for you..
I
know that I’m not the perfect wife to you and mother to our boys. All I can promise is that I will try to
continue to be the best that I know how to be.
We
may not have a single thing in common {besides traveling and that other thing},
but saying, “I do” to you {nine years ago today} was the best decision I’ve
ever made.
True
love is more than bouquets and romance.
It’s about weathering the storms.
It’s about conquering the roughest of rides. It’s about learning from your mistakes and loving
each other unconditionally.
On
the 1,387th day from the day we started dating, you asked me to
marry you.
On
the 1,911th day from the day we started dating, you made me your
wife.
On
the 2,432nd day from the day we started dating, you made me a mommy.
And
on this 5,198th day from the day we started dating, you continue to
make me the happiest girl in the world.
Thank
you for continuing to sweep me off my feet and making my knees a little
weak. Thank you for picking me up when
I’ve fallen and making me laugh when I can't stand you.
Thank
you for spending fourteen of your precious years with me as my best friend with
nine of those as my husband.
Even
as my memories fade and as the moments of my younger life seem farther behind
me… I promise to never forget that day nine years ago…
Our wedding day. May we always
let our love bring us back to that day that we made our promise to each
other to be together for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness
and in health, till death do us part.
I said it then, and I’d say it all over again. I {still} do.
I
love you from the deepest depth of my heart.
I love our perfectly imperfect marriage.
The best part about me, is you...
All
my love-
Amanda
