You’d think I’d be use to it by now.
There is a reason why there has been a TV show about this. Kids DO say the darndest things. Sometimes they make us laugh and others times, they simply stump us.
This list is probably over just a two-day time span. But who’s counting...
7yo: “Mom, you know what would be cheaper than BUYING a swimming pool? Just buying a tractor and digging a hole and putting water in it. We should totally do that."
--------------------------------------------Read on cupcake. Read on--------------------------------------------
The Mister: “Honey… Chris said that Cash wants Toasted Noodles for breakfast. Any idea what that could be?”
Me Mumbling: {it's effing toaster strudel. He wants TOASTER STRUDEL}.
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4yo: “How did my Tigey (stuffed tiger) get in my bed? He wasn’t here when I went to sleep last night. Oh wait … I fink he teleported. I wonder how *I* can teleport.”
4yo: “How did my Tigey (stuffed tiger) get in my bed? He wasn’t here when I went to sleep last night. Oh wait … I fink he teleported. I wonder how *I* can teleport.”
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7yo: “Moooooooom. I just stepped in dog pee! But before you clean it up, can you come look at me touch the ceiling while I’m standing on my bed?”
7yo: “Moooooooom. I just stepped in dog pee! But before you clean it up, can you come look at me touch the ceiling while I’m standing on my bed?”
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4yo: “My boyfriend AND girlfriend died last night. But now they’re at home getting ready to go to work.”
4yo: “My boyfriend AND girlfriend died last night. But now they’re at home getting ready to go to work.”
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The Mister: “Do you want to go to Menards? And I’m not talking about the store {gives ‘the wink’}.”
Me: {pretending I'm dead}.
The Mister: “Do you want to go to Menards? And I’m not talking about the store {gives ‘the wink’}.”
Me: {pretending I'm dead}.
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7yo: “It stinks really reeeeeeeally bad in my room. It’s making me hungry for pancakes.”
7yo: “It stinks really reeeeeeeally bad in my room. It’s making me hungry for pancakes.”
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4yo: “They should make hansitizer (hand sanitizer) for ears and eyes too. I’m going to go vent it and sell it. Where are your car keys?”
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4yo: “Whenever people make tooting sounds, it makes me have to toot for real.”
4yo: “They should make hansitizer (hand sanitizer) for ears and eyes too. I’m going to go vent it and sell it. Where are your car keys?”
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4yo: “Whenever people make tooting sounds, it makes me have to toot for real.”
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4yo: “I’m going to draw a picture of you. It’s going to have two horns, a tail, and a big tummy.”
4yo: “I’m going to draw a picture of you. It’s going to have two horns, a tail, and a big tummy.”
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7yo: “Somebody in my class was really stinky today at school. I couldn’t figure out who it was and they kept following me everywhere I went. When I went to the bathroom, they went to the bathroom. I looked under the doors but I didn’t see anybody. And then their smell stuck in my nose until I took off my shoes. So weird.”
Me: {throws away shoes}
7yo: “Somebody in my class was really stinky today at school. I couldn’t figure out who it was and they kept following me everywhere I went. When I went to the bathroom, they went to the bathroom. I looked under the doors but I didn’t see anybody. And then their smell stuck in my nose until I took off my shoes. So weird.”
Me: {throws away shoes}
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The Mister: “Do birds pee? Or do you think they just poop? I mean … their poop is really watery…”
The Mister: “Do birds pee? Or do you think they just poop? I mean … their poop is really watery…”
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7yo: “We talked about Barack Obama today on President’s Day. Did you know he’s a donkey?”
7yo: “We talked about Barack Obama today on President’s Day. Did you know he’s a donkey?”
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4yo: “QUICK! Give me a shirt and pants! I don’t want anyone to look at my ningpoles!”
Me: {Got it. Ning-nings and nipples}
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The list could go on.
4yo: “QUICK! Give me a shirt and pants! I don’t want anyone to look at my ningpoles!”
Me: {Got it. Ning-nings and nipples}
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 |
| That one time my (then 1.5 yo) got a potty chair seat stuck on his head |
The list could go on.
I'm pretty sure that my two little Einsteins are near-by, plotting to
make my life just a tad bit more challenging.
I can't make this shit up, y'all.
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