The hubby and I have had a night to ourselves twice in fifteen months. Twice ... ONE YEAR! And it was a total of 5 hours out. I've spend 5 hours total alone with my husband. It upsets me when people say, "Well she doesn't work so they get to spend a ton of time together." Honestly ... I want to hold up my middle finger to those people and wish they'd turn into a fly on the wall in the Topinka house. I DO work damnit. Job 1 = full time Mommy and housekeeper. Job 2 = at home transcriptionist. Job 3 = full time online student. If I'm not typing or studying, I'm taking care of a child or keeping up with housework. I always have a job to do whether I'm getting paid or not. It is what it is.
A day in the life of the Topinka's consist of Mommy with one kid ... Daddy with the other. Once Daddy comes home from work, Cash has been so couped up in the house that he's ready to play play play. And by the time he's finally ready to go to bed it's between 9 and 10 which is Cale and I's bedtime also. The baby still wakes up at least twice a night. Which means I am exhausted and ready for bed the second Cash goes to sleep.
Every time I attend a baby shower I give the same advice to the mom-to-be ... schedule date night. Because I know first hand what it's like to not get to go on a date. What it's like to struggle with your relationship because you don't get to see eachother. There's days when the only conversation I have with my husband is when I call him at work when he's on lunch. And I swear it comes out all gibberish. Goo goo gah gah is officially in my stream of language and to me ... it makes perfect sense.
Cale is my best friend. He will always be on my team. He's the glue that holds our family together. I know how hard I am on him and I wish it's something I could change but it's not. He gets to go to work and get away from all of us for 8+ hours a day. Which means he gets the opportunity to miss the boys. The only time I get is if we need milk from the grocery store and I escape for 15 minutes. And trust me ... I've found the longest route to the grocery store ;-)
I swear sometimes the walls in my house are going to cave in on me. But luckily ... Cale gets home and puts them back up. I definitely have my emotional breakdowns. But he's the rock that holds me up. I try not to cry in front of Cash but honestly ... I don't have the choice. Mommy can only be so strong for so long. So I make up a story to tell him of how I just stubbed my toe and it hurt real bad.
This isn't a pity party for Amanda. That's not why I'm writing this at all. It's merely to open your eyes and hope that you appreciate the time you DO get to spend with your significant other. Don't take that time for granted. Cherish every moment and make memories. Don't spend that time sleeping or in separate rooms doing your own thing. Take the time to look into eachother's eyes and fall in love all over again.
I may not get the opportunity to miss my children ... but the memories we get to make are priceless.
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